Hello, 5th Term

Semester Dewa, kata orang-orang, and yes, they're right. Ngomongin kuliah, demi apapun, gw ga pernah nyesel jadi anak iklan, tapi mbok ya kasih satu hari buat nafas tanpa tugas bisa ga sih? Kalo gw ga mau bikin tugas emangnya lo mau apa? HAH? HAHHH?? *emosi* 

Saking bertubi-tubinya tugas, standar pengerjaan tugas gw pun menurun. Gaya belajar gw semester ini, teman-teman, adalah : TAAT! Yak, taat. Intinya, masuk kuliah, ngerjain tugas, ikut quiz, THAT'S IT. Ga ada BM2(Banyak Mau)an lagi. Ga ada presentasi yang kebanyakan gimmick daripada isi. NO MORE! Taat aja, cukup!

Dan ya, seperti apa yang sudah digariskan oleh takdir, angkatan 2010 dateng ke kehidupan gw dan 2008 lainnya, membuat semuanya semakin "Dewa". Seharusnya bisa ambil 24 SKS, tapi ya, cukuplah 21 aja, 3 SKS nya buat mereka, dan tentunya Dynomite. Ga perlu diceritain kayak gimana proses mengurus anak-anak ini, karena prosesnya pun masih panjang ke depan.Tapi satu hal, posisi ini lebih sulit dari yang pernah gw bayangin. Jadi 'orang tua' 10x (ga pake lebay) lebih susah daripada jadi 'anak'. Banyak banget tantangannya. Dibilang capek, ya capek banget. But like always, I'm doing it with my kom08, so no need to worry. Why? Simply because we are 2008 :) We'll make it and we'll make it GOOD, like we always did.

Sehectic-hecticnya semester ini, entah kenapa gw ga pengen semuanya cepet berakhir. Another 21 sks selesai, 2010 lulus SAR, sumpah ga mau cepet-cepet udahan. Capek sih, tapi ga mau udahan. Karena setelah semester ini udahan, apa lagi tugas 2008? Di bayangan gw, semester 6 ke atas itu membosankan, tua, dan tidak menyenangkan, dan gw ga mau cepet-cepet kesana, harus mikirin skripsi, kerja dan lain-lain HELL NO!

One step closer to real life

One step closer to "goodbye 2008mates"

One step closer to HELL

Let me be this young forever, please, God :'(

Not Good Enough

Gue orang yang sangat jarang merasa rendah diri. Really. Ya, seperti kebanyakan orang, kadang gue merasa takut, nervous, malu, ga PD, tapi itu jarang sekali terjadi. Gw selalu percaya apa pun yang gw mau pasti gw dapetin, dan apa pun yang gw lakuin, gw pasti bisa melakukannya dengan baik, sesuai keinginan gw. 

Tapi semakin ke sini, entah kenapa, gw makin sering merasa rendah diri. Gw tetep merasa gw bisa melakukan segala hal yang gw pengen, tapi ga sebagus orang-orang di sekitar gw. Gw bisa nyanyi, gw bisa desain, gw bisa ngomong di depan orang banyak, gw bisa nulis, gw bisa ini dan itu, tapi temen-temen gw, mereka lebih bisa dari gw. I'm good. But not good enough.

Gw menyesali banget perasaan ini dateng sekarang-sekarang ini, ketika gw udah mulai mau ng-apply magang sana sini buat ngisi liburan tiga bulan nanti. Setiap mau ngirim CV, yang dateng ke pikiran gw, "Kayak nya gw ga cocok deh.. Kalo si A atau si B, pasti cocok." Dan gw batal ngirimin CV. 

Makin kesini, gw makin bisa ngeliat kelebihan temen-temen gw. Si A bakal jadi apa, si B bakal jadi apa, tapi semakin gw bisa ngeliat kelebihan mereka, semakin buram gw ngeliat kelebihan gw sendiri. Sekarang kalau ditanya gw pengen jadi apa nantinya..

.. gw bingung

.. ga tau mau jadi apa

Kayaknya selama ini gw melihat diri gw terlalu tinggi. Kayak nya gw expect too much dari diri gw. Kayak nya gw ga semampu itu juga deh.

:(

I Miss You, Father

Sorry I didn't go to church this week,
and last week too..
I will come to your home, next week, Father, I swear
I miss you :'(

Table Lamp

I created this poem two years ago. Sad, broken hearted, unstable, disappointed. Haha at least I can laugh over it after all of those pain ;)

This is the point
where i don't have any words to say anymore
no feelings to describe
and no anger to spill

i run out of blood
run out of tears
run out of the will to move on

i fall so deep
i've tried to stand up
but i fell again
and again
and again

reverse.

the light i saw
was not the sun
it was just a table lamp
the owner can easily
turn it on
made me believe that it was a light of hope

and turn it off
emptiness came forward

it's only a click away.

iPray

God,
give me the strength and teach me how
to forgive
to forget

to give
to accept

to be strong when i get hurt
and not to avenge

to love
rather than to hate

to be thank full that it happened
rather than feeling regret

And the last one, God..
give me the strength and teach me how

to LET GO

...sincerely

:')

The moment you stop crying is not the moment your problem is over. The moment you stop crying is the moment you decide to wipe away your tears, and start to smile.

3rd song

The Beatles - I Will 


Who knows how long 
I've loved you You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime
If you want me to, I will.

For if I ever saw you

I didn't catch your name 

But it never really mattered

I will always feel the same.

Love you forever and forever

Love you with all my heart

Love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart.

And when at last I find you 

Your song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

For the things you do endear you to me

Oh, you know, I will

I will.