Just made a pretty huge decision a month ago. I said goodbye to that someone who had been in my life, in my days, in my nights, for 12 months. I knew this day would come since the very first "Hello". But I have definitely no regret, not at all. I learned a lot from what we had, what we struggled.
The most valuable thing I learned is this :
Never, ever, push someone to be yourself, and never push yourself to be someone else.
If you want everything to go well, just walk together to the middle point, find the balance. That, my friend, need a lot of sacrifices. Do it, ONLY if think he/she's worth it.
In my case, I wasn't worth his sacrifice, and he wasn't worth mine. It hurts a little bit, knowing that he didn't think it's worth it to survive what he had with me. But after I took my time to think, I also didn't want to make any sacrifice for him, for us. We were equal.
For me he was boring, weird, too serious, and have I mentioned boring?
For him I was too witty, too spoiled, too 'nowadays youngsters', he said.
He loves something I hate the most : PHYSICS
I love something he hates the most : SOCIALIZING
I have never met someone like him before, literally. Someone so different (again, literally). He said the same thing too about me.
Difference could be nice, difference could be beautiful, only if we have interest to learn about our differences, getting to know each other, and yeah, find the middle point. Me and him, we didn't have any interest to know about each other's life.
It got me thinking, what were we doing for 12 months? Well, yeah, we laughed at each other's jokes. We tried to love each other's world (but we failed), we took care of each other (and I admit, it's always good to have someone to call before you go to sleep), we hung out, and yes, I loved him. I loved having him around. But that's life. Sometimes, you think he is the one, but he's not. Sometimes you think it's love, but it turned out to be, well, maybe just a habit, a comfort zone.
Never mind, I love to be falling in love, and definitely not afraid of falling out of it. "Every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back"
So, thanks to you, B, for teaching me these things. Thank you for the night calls, thank you for the movies and dinners, thank you for our songs,and most of all, thank you for teaching me how to be me, by being you :)
P.S I'm over you now
